10 Good Reasons To Deal With Your Anger
Anger, hostility, and resentment when not directly dealt with, can unknowingly get buried deep inside. Being stuck in a relationship of abuse or neglect can cause you to suppress anger. Suppressed anger, in time, will break out of your weak restraints and display itself in many self-destructive ways. It can turn into resentment or bitterness, gradually simmering to the boiling point-at which time it can have severe debilitating effects on your mental health. This can result in low self-esteem, withdrawal and isolation, difficulty maintaining relationships, suicidal thoughts, sexual promiscuity, and/or dysfunction. Even physical problems such as migraine headaches, colitis, high blood pressure, substance abuse, lupus, and arthritis can all be caused or aggravated by repressing anger. Feeling anger is neither good nor bad, but is rather a natural reaction that occurs whenever your self-esteem or your self-respect is hurt or threatened. Anger is a sign that you are alive.
Hate, on the other hand, is a sign that you are sick and in need of healing.
Healthy anger can drive you to do something to change what makes you angry. It can actually help to make things better. The main difference between hate and anger is that hate does not want to change things for the better, it wants to make things worse. Anger can mask feelings of helplessness, disappointment, insecurity, grief, and fear. Some people fear the possible consequences of revealing how they really feel.
- Anger can also feel safer than intimacy and genuine communication.
- Anger can mask feelings that are at the root of the problem.
- Anger is also used to avoid dealing with hurtful past experiences.
- Anger is a powerful emotion that can consume our energy.
- "Suppressed anger" is used to control others through guilt or fear.
- However, anger can be a powerful motivator for change.
- Anger left unattended can turn to hate.
- It can become a cancer that slowly destroys your body and your soul.
- Hate will turn its power against the hater.
- Anger that is not dealt with will consume your time and energy as you fume and mull over your painful experiences. Holding onto your anger makes it impossible to forgive people who hurt you, even when they have changed and want to reconcile. James, the brother of Jesus, taught that we "should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1:19-20)