You Want to Help, You Say?

doctor Most people who care about others want to help them through rough times! But, may I mention you can only help someone who is seeking your help and willing to help themselves.

Some folks will try to enter your life with all of their drama not because they want to make life shattering changes or improve the condition of their life. Some folks are master manipulators and they will suck you dry running you ragged with games and endless whining. Abusers are moaners and groaners complaining about how disenfranchised they are. Of these folks it might be said that nothing ever suits them and they have learned how to draw family, friends, neighbors and professionals into their web of deception.

There is no shortage of whiners, complainers and vampires (nice name for blood-suckers) in our world! So, what’s a fella or gal to do who want to help those in need without being annihilated by endless requests and demands?

Here are a few suggestions..

Learn to say yes to a request when that’s the appropriate action and you can help! Learn to say no to a request without feelings of guilt/shame.

When you cannot help in a particular situation and/or someone else would be a better fit for the task, pool the resources and lift the burden. Set sensible boundaries and stick to it.

Determine the help that you are able to provide by the gifts that you have been given and the talents that you possess. You cannot and should not feel compelled to enter a situation to offer help where to do so would make things volatile or fail to offer genuine help! Many people have legitimate needs and they need the kind of help that moves them forward physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Be a diligent student of human nature and try not to get caught unaware. Some people only want you around when they need you. Some people will love you today and hate you tomorrow based upon their personal agenda which generally changes with their mood.