You Want to Help, You Say?

doctor Most people who care about others want to help them through rough times! But, may I mention you can only help someone who is seeking your help and willing to help themselves.

Some folks will try to enter your life with all of their drama not because they want to make life shattering changes or improve the condition of their life. Some folks are master manipulators and they will suck you dry running you ragged with games and endless whining. Abusers are moaners and groaners complaining about how disenfranchised they are. Of these folks it might be said that nothing ever suits them and they have learned how to draw family, friends, neighbors and professionals into their web of deception.

There is no shortage of whiners, complainers and vampires (nice name for blood-suckers) in our world! So, what’s a fella or gal to do who want to help those in need without being annihilated by endless requests and demands?

Here are a few suggestions..

Learn to say yes to a request when that’s the appropriate action and you can help! Learn to say no to a request without feelings of guilt/shame.

When you cannot help in a particular situation and/or someone else would be a better fit for the task, pool the resources and lift the burden. Set sensible boundaries and stick to it.

Determine the help that you are able to provide by the gifts that you have been given and the talents that you possess. You cannot and should not feel compelled to enter a situation to offer help where to do so would make things volatile or fail to offer genuine help! Many people have legitimate needs and they need the kind of help that moves them forward physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Be a diligent student of human nature and try not to get caught unaware. Some people only want you around when they need you. Some people will love you today and hate you tomorrow based upon their personal agenda which generally changes with their mood.


How Is Your Relationship with God, Family and Others?

In Rebuilding Your Broken World, Gordon MacDonald suggests twenty-six questions to help develop accountability and invite feedback. If we desire to grow, we should submit our selves to a spiritual mentor and answer these questions honestly.

1. How is your relationship with God right now?
2. What have you read in the Bible in the past week?
3. What has God said to you in this reading?
4. Where do you find yourself resisting Him these days?
5. What specific things are you praying for in regard to yourself?
7. What are the specific tasks facing you right now that you consider incomplete?
8. What habits intimidate you?
9. What have you read in the secular press this week?
10. What general reading are you doing?
11. What have you done to play?
12. How are you doing with your spouse? Kids?
13. If I were to ask your spouse about your state of mind, state of spirit, state of energy level, what would the response be?
14. Are you sensing spiritual attacks from the enemy right now?
15. If Satan were to try to invalidate you as a person or as a servant of the Lord, how might he do it?
16. What is the state of your sexual perspective? Tempted? Dealing with fantasies? Entertainment?
17. Where are you financially right now? (things under control? under anxiety? in great debt?)
18. Are there any unresolved conflicts in your circle of relationships right now?
19. When was the last time you spent time with a good friend of your own gender?
20. What kind of time have you spent with anyone who is a non-Christian this month?
21. What challenges do you think you’re going to face in the coming week? Month?
22. What would you say are your fears at this present time?
23. Are you sleeping well?
24. What three things are you most thankful for?
25. Do you like yourself at this point in your pilgrimage?
26. What are your greatest confusions about your relationship with God?

How do you answer and address these questions, what are the issues that need to be resolved, today?  How and to whom are you accountable?  Serious questions that call for an internal emotional and spiritual review!